Welcome to Midnight.

Any of you that are supporters of TWLOHA, know that this time each year for the past few years they have published and republished a blog entitled Welcome to Midnight.

My goal with using the same title is to not copy or try and outdo what they have written, but to add to the conversation and spark it in those of you that maybe aren’t familiar with it.
Feel free to join in the conversation using #WelcomeToMidnight
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In two days, people will gather and wait. They will wait for the ball to drop. They will wait for confetti. They will wait for midnight.

The ball drops and the calendar rolls over. And we begin anew.

We leave behind the pain of the previous year.
The hurt.
The grief.
The brokenness.

We long for a fresh start.
What will you do with yours?

Will you make the amends that you’ve put off?
Will you fight for the things and the people that matter to you?
What will you be moved by?
What will you let break you in a holy way?

Will you forgive others?
Will you forgive yourself?

Will you fight for your recovery?
For your story?
For those around you?

2015 has never happened before.
What will you do with it?

The possibilities are endless.

If there is breath in your lungs, then you still have a purpose to fulfill.

Find what moves you and fight for it.
Your story matters and it is far from being over.

I hope that you can find the peace that comes with starting fresh.
You were made for these moments.

Here’s to a year of laughing and loving.
Of new beginnings and renewed hope.

Here’s to a year of endless possibilities.

Welcome to Midnight.

I Guess I’ll Muddle Through, Somehow.

One of my favorite Christmas songs is Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas. If I’m being honest, you’d be hard pressed to find a Christmas song that I don’t like, hah. But this one is particularly special to me this year.

There is a line in the song that says “Through the years, we all will be together. If the fates allow. Until then we’ll have to muddle through somehow.”

Most of us like to associate that with our families. Each year when the holidays roll around, we gather with loved ones and enjoy each others company and reminisce about years gone by. And typically at the end of the night, when we pack everything up and head home, we hug and say “Let’s do it all again next year, Lord willing,” and we go about our lives.

We’ve become habitual in taking for granted those precious moments. We assume that we’ll all be together again the following year, so we put little effort into making the rest of the year meaningful.

My wish for all of you is that you enjoy these special moments and savor them. I pray that through the years, you all will be together.

This year, I’m learning to muddle through somehow. This year, I will have a simple Christmas. I miss my family oh so dearly. The simplicity of Christmas Eve by my Granny and Papa’s fireplace and Christmas Day at the lake with my Mama K and Papa.

I’ll be okay though. I’ll muddle through.

So to all of you reading this tonight, have yourself a Merry little Christmas now.

When it Rains.

You’ve all heard the old saying, “When it rains, it pours”. We’ve all heard it. It is rarely, if ever, used in a positive way. But I propose we change all that.

Rain is beautiful.
It’s refreshing.
It cleanses.

Why not enjoy that?
Why not run through it and splash in the puddles left behind?
Why not dance in it?

Life is too short to spend it agonizing over what we can’t change. Instead of focusing on everything that’s wrong in a situation, why not focus on what’s still good?
Or better stated, who is still good.

Even in the darkest of moments, He is still good.

So instead of sulking in the rain, let’s dance.
Let’s run free in the assurance that He works all things for the good of those that love Him.

Do you love Him?
Then run through that rain.
Do you trust Him?
Then dance through the downpours.

Yes, it gets messy.
But the most honest and beautiful moments are born out of the messy ones.

It’s okay to dance in the rain.
It’s okay to splash in the puddles.
It’s okay to run free.

You were made for this.

So the next time it rains, come find me; I’ll be the one outside dancing.

Let Go My Soul.

So let go my soul and trust in Him.

Do you trust Him?
I don’t mean like this wishy washy kind of trust.
I mean really trust Him.

Do you trust Him with your past?
Do you trust that He can and will heal those hurts?

This post is something that has been inspired by a dear friend of mine, who will never admit that there is a seed of bitterness and resentment in their life,but it is most certainly there.

So I’ll ask again.

Do you trust Him?
Do you trust Him enough to let go of the grudge you’re holding?

I tried to move you, but you just wouldn’t budge.
I tried to hold your hand, but you’d rather hold your grudge.

It’s so easy to let ourselves become bitter and cynical when things don’t go the way that we thought they would.
But maybe instead of blaming everyone and everything else, we need to take a long hard look in the mirror and realize that we’re the problem.
That maybe the reason why things aren’t going the way that we thought that they would is because we are too prideful to realize that we don’t have all the answers.
That our way of doing it is the wrong way of doing it.
That we made mistakes and are too arrogant to realize it.

Instead, we hold our ground that we’re in the right.
We are so quick to point the finger at everyone and everything else except for where it needs to be pointing:
Ourselves.

So we put our tail between our legs and we leave.
Whether we were asked to or go on our own, we leave.

And then comes the bitterness.
And bitterness is dangerous.

What were once healthy relationships are now so fractured, we wonder if they can ever be repaired.

I encourage you, I urge you- don’t let bitterness take root in your heart.
It is one of the hardest things to let go of.
Bitterness combined with pride never goes well.
Trust me.
I’ve spent far too much time being bitter in my life.

I pray that you would begin to let go and let God.
He is bigger than the hurts.
He is bigger than your bitterness.
He is bigger than your grudge.

Forgiveness is a beautiful thing.
Embrace that today.
Embrace Him today.

Let it be well with your soul.

Holidays + Grief = Unexpected Feelings.

The holidays are typically my favorite time of year. They still are. I love everything about them; food, friends, fun. Just the season as a whole is beautiful.

But this year is different.

This is the first holiday season without either of my parents. This is uncharted territory for me. These days are filled with a range of emotions and for the most part, I try to be a good sport about it.

But sometimes it’s hard.

Balancing recovery with this new season of grief has been far from easy. There have been good days. There have been bad days. There have even been in between days.

I’m still learning. Still adjusting. Still figuring things out.

I suppose this is my way of saying, if I seemed overwhelmed this holiday season, it’s for good reason. Please be patient with me. I know that you all are learning to adjust with me. Don’t worry about not knowing what to say. I don’t expect you to. Just be there.

I hope that this holiday season finds you well.

Go look at lights.
Play in the snow.
Drink lots of hot chocolate and coffee.
Go to a parade.
Enjoy the loveliness that is this time of year.

I’ll enjoy all those things as well. Perhaps with a heavy heart at times, but you’ll still see a smile on my face.

We were made for these moments. He is still sovereign.
He is still good.

Much love to you all.