Today I’m celebrating four years of recovery. And being that it’s Sunday, I get to be surrounded by the best people in my life, my church family.
I remember when I started this journey at the end of 2012. It was full of empty promises, mainly to myself and it was far from intentional. And then I was challenged by one of the greatest influences in my life to be intentional by just taking it one day at a time.
So I did. And quickly that one day became 30 and soon it hit the hundreds. But even in those moments of small victories, there were plenty of challenges. And if I’m being honest, even in the moments of big victories, there have been plenty of challenges.
But one thing has remained the same throughout it all and that’s the reality that none of this would be possible without the incredible people God has placed in my life over these four years. And while some of the ones that started this journey with me are no longer a part of it, I’m still so thankful for them. And even though I miss them dearly, there are still so many beautiful souls in my life today.
These following words are to them.
I could never thank you enough. In the middle of my brokenness, and sometimes in spite of it, you have loved me. You have walked through some hard battles with me. I have hurt some of you along the way and to my surprise, you stayed. You fought through it with me.
Every tear. Every broken moment. Every raw and vulnerable moment that some of you witnessed. The scary moments. You have walked through them all. Those are days that I look back on and thank God for because if it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t still be here. There are days that some of you literally saved me, oftentimes from myself.
There have been a lot of days in these four years that I’ve literally had to pick myself up off the floor and choose to keep living when all I wanted was the complete opposite. There were days where I flirted with the line between recovery and relapse. There were days when I wanted nothing to do with recovery.
But time and time again, I chose it. Even when I didn’t want it, I chose it.
Most scars have faded over the years, but a few remain. The ones that do used to bother me. They used to remind me of the painful moments of my life. But now I see them and I’m reminded of what I’ve walked through and ultimately come out victorious.
Life has been a beautiful balance of heavy and light. And each morning that I wake up, I’m reminded of the beauty that still exists within all of us. I have the most beautiful and incredible people in my life. They are my tribe. Through the good, the bad, and the ugly, these are the people I want by my side. Doing life and ministry with them is so fun and such an honor. I could never thank them enough for their sacrifices over the years that have saved me and made me who I am.
This is just the beginning. And I’m hopeful. These four years have gone by so fast. And I’m looking forward to what’s next.
So from the bottom of my heart, thank you. For loving me and for making a day like this possible. There aren’t enough words to express the love that I have for each of you.
Here’s to the next adventure.