In two days, I will reach a milestone in my recovery process that I honestly never thought I would.
I will have completed 90 days of recovery.
That is something that seems almost unreal to me.
This has been such a hard fought battle to get to this point.
And I know for a fact that I couldn’t have done it on my own.
Not with everything that has been thrown at me.
I have been blessed with such an amazing support system.
People that I can create open and honest dialogue with about my self harm.
Which is something that has been very hard for me to do in the past.
In the past 88 days, there have been several where I just wanted to quit and even more where I questioned if recovery was something that was even meant for me.
Recovery is hard when it’s intentional.
It’s hard when you have people that will ask the hard questions and expect an honest answer in return.
And sometimes those answers are hard to form words to.
But I’ve done it.
And now here I am, two days away from something I’ve been working on for six months now.
I think back on some of the low points of this journey, and there have been plenty.
Trying to let go of the past.
Believing that I’m worth recovery.
Believing that I can trust the people I’ve brought along for this sometimes bumpy ride.
I remember when this second attempt to reach 90 days started back at the end of January, I was at a really low point.
I didn’t want recovery.
I wanted to stay in my relapse because I thought I deserved it.
I wanted to quit my internship.
And I wanted to shut out the people that have helped me the most along this journey.
But here I am.
As stubborn as I am, most of them are even more so.
And that’s a good thing, I promise.
I don’t know why this is the path in life that I’ve found myself on, but as hard as it’s been at times, I’m glad to be where I am.
I have a story and a purpose.
And both are far from being finished.
On Tuesday, I will celebrate.
And on Wednesday, I will celebrate again with the very people that have helped me reach this point.
My story continues..